As a personal development coach I speak with my clients and prospective clients every day about what holds them back from living their best life now. What I find on a regular basis is there’s a lot of anger and hatred of life’s circumstances and the people in it.
Anger and hate are usually borne of fear. We blame, judge and criticize because we want to feel like it’s someone’s else’s fault, or blame circumstances that we have no control over. We feel justified in exhibiting this powerful emotion as we pour out our negative thoughts into the vessel of contempt and withhold the love, respect and compassion that are the other side of the coin.
But who are you really hating? Yourself for making foolish choices?
As I’m getting ready to move house next weekend, I came across a letter I wrote to my ex-husband but was never delivered. It began with “I hate you.” It was about the difficult relationship we had over custody of our son. It’s a long and complicated story that I won’t go into here, but the letter was filled with my refusal to accept responsibility for my part in the drama, and extraordinary blame for the misery I was feeling as a result of our experiences.
Now, I’ve done a lot of work on my own personal development over the years, and this letter was from another place and time in my life. If I was to take a guess, it would be 20 years ago. Why I’ve held onto that letter as I moved from continent to continent, city to city, I don’t know. But it was an interesting glimpse into my old mindset, and a wonderful testament to how far I’ve come.
I have moved from hate to love and can’t imagine living life any other way.
So this morning, as we are preparing for yet another move, I decided to burn it. Not just ger rid of the garbage, but to cleanse the past by fire. Every last word evaporated into a pile of black ash. And as I did so, I gave it a blessing and I let go of a major part of my history. I no longer hold anger and hate as a controlling emotion in my life.
So where in your life are you holding onto anger and hate? What would it take for you to let go of it? Make the decision today to release at least one negative from your life that does not serve you.
Be Fearless: See Where It Gets You.
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“Author Jacqueline Wales introduces a new, refreshingly healthy approach that shows how to put fear to work FOR us rather than AGAINST us. In tough economic times, we all need to know how to fast-forward through fear instead of becoming frozen by fear. This book shows how anyone can do that. Read it and reap.”
