According to an article by Tara Pope in the NY Times, “people in their quest for better health turn to doctors, self-help books or herbal supplements. But they overlook a powerful weapon that could help them fight illness and depression, speed recovery, slow aging and prolong life: their friends.”

We have always known that close relationships are a mark of a long-lived life.  Studies have been done of chimpanzees who were isolated who withered and died, so we know that friendships are essential to our well-being.   In this age of social networking, we are seeing a great influx of people reaching out to connect, but how many of them are connecting meaningfully?  Too many are gathering numbers. The truth of the matter is, you can’t possibly talk to 20,000 people regularly.

Friendships shape our lives, according to a book my Jeffrey Zaslow he tells the story of Kelly Zwagerman who sustained a friendship with eleven childhood friends for 40 years, following them around the globe, until she was diagnosed with breast cancer and she was told to rally her friends.  She credits her friends with saving her life as she fully recovered from the disease.

“In 2006, a study of 3,00 nurses with breast cancer found that women without close friends were four times as likely to die from the disease as women with 10 or more friends. And notably, proximity and the amount of contact with a friend wasn’t associated with survival. Just having friends was protective.”

So how will this affect us with all our internet social networking. Is this a substitute for ‘physical’ friendships?

By having regular conversations with our Twitter friends, or creating meaningful dialogue on our Facebook pages, will we enhance our chances of living a longer life?

I have become a Twitaholic in the last couple of months, and for someone who spends a great deal of her time in front of the computer, it’s comforting to know that I can chat with someone I don’t know, but who responds to me in a warm and friendly way.  But will it replace ‘face-time’ with ‘real’ friends?

While I love the people follow on Twitter and who follow me…. and I mean that in a real sense because they are all enormously unique people who contribute a lot to my work and world…. I can’t help but feel I need the physical proximity.  I need conversations in more than 14o characters and url links.  I need to see the smiles, feel the touch and an opportunity to explore ‘what’s going on for you’ right now?

So the question still remains.  Will the new social media be a substitute for physical friendships?  Somehow, I don’t think so. We all need comfort, support and a little fearless TLC to make it through the dark days, and share the bright ones.  I don’t want to become a virtual person.  Instead of living in NYC, I could be living in Sim City!!