Do you ever wonder why we do things that we don’t want to do? Get stuck in places where we don’t want to go? Have you ever thought “I should have known better?”
Well, stop blaming yourself. It’s your lizard brain at work. And you can control it.
We all have a lizard lurking at the base of our skull. It’s known as the Amygdala. Sounds like something from India, but it has the most powerful role in our automatic behavior cycles. It’s where our fear, anger and rage originates and it’s primal.
The Amygdala constantly monitors our experiences to see where things are at. If it senses danger it sends out signals to the body to go into fight or flight mode.
When this is activated, our normal, rational brain takes a hike. We lose the plot and fixate on the worst.
When confronted with feelings of shame or failure, what do you do?
You resist the emotion by making up excuses or going into denial. You try to find a rational explanation but it’s hard. Your brain won’t let you. It insists that you’re in danger.
The only way to break free is to acknowledge the discomfort, know that it’s not the real you speaking, and take a decisive action to go contrary to the message that may be screaming at you to pay attention to the dangers.
What can you do about it?
According to Seth Godin, “the only hope for our species is that the rest of the brain, the civilized part, will care so deeply about positive outcomes that it will organize to avoid the lizard, and will invest in systems that make the resistance less powerful.”
So next time that lizard shows up, tell it to go back to the lounge and chill.
On the advice of Dr. Cynthia Ackrill, M.D. do the following:
STOP whatever you’re doing and step out of the situation. If that can’t be done, go silent for a moment and identify for yourself what just occurred. (“Wow, my boss just asked me to give a talk in front of a new group of employees. I’ve never done that before!”) This step keeps the neocortex engaged and can prevent the amygdala’s takeover. This takes practice and builds the awareness needed to shift from reactive to proactive.
BREATHE deeply and slowly to the bottom of your lungs, with intention and purpose. This step calms the amygdala and keeps the neocortex engaged.
Counter the hijack by quickly finding something to APPRECIATE. It’s difficult to have two emotional experiences at the same time, so find a person, object or situation to appreciate as soon as you can.
While it’s especially effective to appreciate the cause of the hijack (i.e.the perception of you standing in front of a large audience), an appreciation of anything will help–have a go-to list ready! This shifts your brain state and heart rate so you can choose your reactions instead of your amygdala choosing for you.
After the hijacking ends, spend time thinking about what just happened and why. Raising AWARENESS of your patterns is the first step to learning new ones. Recognizing the trigger will help you avoid being triggered again in the future. This may also serve to motivate you to join a Toastmasters group near you.
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“Author Jacqueline Wales introduces a new, refreshingly healthy approach that shows how to put fear to work FOR us rather than AGAINST us. In tough economic times, we all need to know how to fast-forward through fear instead of becoming frozen by fear. This book shows how anyone can do that. Read it and reap.”
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