We are in a time of transition.  But it is also a time of transformation.  Coming to terms with the past, looking at out successes and failures, is a necessary step along the way, but it is not where we linger.  We pursue our dreams and we set goals for our future.  Learning that we are indeed capable, that we can and will change the things that make us unhappy, that we can handle whatever life brings our way, is the challenge and also the reward.  There no more ‘If only’s’.  There are only ‘What if’s’ and the ability to look toward a positive outcome.  We women are a resilient lot.  I look at the drama of my grandmother’s  and my mother’s lives. I wrote a book about it called When The Crow Sings, and I also surveyed my own chaotic misadventures, all of which brought great blessings I couldn’t see at the time.

Our personalities are formed at an early age, but they are not set in stone.  We change and grow, even morph into something entirely new.  We are the not same person we were at the age of twenty, thirty or forty.  Where we stand today is at the doorstep of our own vision to create whatever it is we want to create, to feel secure about who we are.  To know we can do anything with desire, determination and dedication.

Many people are dealing with a potential lay-off, going bankrupt, husband leaving, elderly parents who are driving you insane, disability, sick relatives, children in trouble, emotional crisis.  These are real, and very overwhelming.  The last thing I mean to do is minimize the effect of these difficult realities.  My intention is to help you reach the point where you realize, accept and declare that you can handle this and any other crisis that you will meet along the way.  I guarantee it.  We are each of us much stronger than we realize.

So where do you start?

•    Ask yourself ‘Do I understand my true desire?”   If you don’t know what it is, write down all the things that you feel passionate about and seek out the one thing that you want above all else.

•    When you find that one thing that rises above all else, ask yourself the question “If money, people’s opinions and judgments did not matter, would I still choose the same thing?”

•    If you knew you could not possibly fail, would you still make the same choice?

•    Rewrite your desire again and notice when you remove all the doubts and anxieties associated with money, opinions, judgments and failure, what does that look like?

•    Then, ask yourself what beliefs must I have to fulfill that desire.  Write them down.

•    Next, write down the things you tolerate right now that are getting in the way of fulfilling these desires.  Burn that piece of paper.  You have a choice.

•    Finally, write out your desires, the steps you must take to fulfill that desire, and the new beliefs you are cultivating to take you closer to those desires as one full statement.

My statement looks like this:

“My true desires is to help women around the world feel good about themselves and the direction they are taking in life and I will do this by creating programs that connect women to each other for support, encouragement and inspiration so they can create the lives they want.  I believe that all of my life experiences has led me to this moment and I am totally ready and able to fulfill this desire.”

Your next step is to make the Decision to commit to this path.  Refuse to give yourself any other option that does not serve your vision, and accept everything that goes along with that decision, even if it means sacrificing something you hold valuable to your life.  If it doesn’t serve your vision, then it is not necessary.  It is only a distraction.

Structure your life to support your decision and remove any and all temptations that will block you from getting what it is you want.

When presented with an opportunity, there are 4 questions you need to answer in order to make your decision.

1.    Is this something I want to be, do, or have?
2.    Is being, doing, or having this going to take me closer to my goal?
3.    Is being, doing or having this in harmony with the Laws of the Universe (More life to all, less to none.)
4.    Is being, doing, or having this going to violate the rights of others?

If you answered YES for the first 3 and NO for the last one, you know it’s time to make your decision.

Your life is your own.  No one else controls it.  Taking the steps to determine what it is you want, and how you are going to get it, is the first step to true liberation.