According to the American Institute of Stress, more than 110 million Americans take medication for stress related causes each week. When the holidays come along, people who already have a pre-disposition to stress can find themselves feeling blue and more stressed out than usual. But there is a way to avoid the trap.

In my family, we have three birthdays, including my two daughters and myself, Hannukah, Christmas parties and New Year’s events so by the time the end of December rolls around, I’ve had quite enough.

Parties, gifts, eating, drinking, sharing, family……stressing, over-indulging, worrying, guilty, conflicted……. Interesting how that works, isn’t it?

Many of us look forward to the holidays as a time to enjoy the pleasures of connecting with friends and family, but for many, before we’ve even put away the Halloween candy, we’re already worrying about what to give, what to do, what to wear, how are we going to cope with the family gathering, the office party, and any other act of giving that we are supposed to take great pleasure in.  We worry if we have enough money, and if someone gives us a gift, we feel the pull towards reciprocating.  It can stretch the budget and pull us into debt as we try to keep up with it all.

Holidays are stressful.  But you can plan for the stress.

•    Start with the budget.  This is the biggest issue right now, so plan on how much you want to spend.  Next, make a plan for who you want to spend money on, and have a good look to see if it’s someone who really needs your gifts.  Many people are in the same boat as you this year, and will welcome the chance not to get into the reciprocation game.

•    Write your greetings cards and let people know that you have decided not to give gifts this year, and instead, donate some money to your favorite charity and let them know.  It doesn’t have to be a lot of money, either. Sending lots of love and heartfelt messages is more important than stuff that ends up in the back of the closet or on the shelf

•    Watch what you eat.  You don’t have to eat everything put in front of you, nor do you have to accept all alcoholic drinks that are given.  You can choose something else.  There are always healthier choices available if you are conscious about it.  Eat, drink and be merry doesn’t have to include over-indulgence. But if you do, give yourself a break and don’t make it hard on yourself.  It just means you were having more of a good time than you planned.

•    When family relations are tense, make a decision before you arrive at the gathering that you will not allow it to get to you.  Leave the room, or politely change the conversation if it’s going down a challenging road.  You are in control of your own reactions.

•    Rest between events.  That means a good night’s sleep, and turning down invitations.  The party will go on without you, and you’ll feel much better at the end of the day knowing you were prudent in taking care of yourself.

The holidays don’t have to be stressful.  You always have a choice so enjoy the time with family and friends to the best of your ability. It only comes once a year!

Jacqueline Wales is the author of The Fearless Factor: Thriving Beyond The Jungle of Life and the founder and CEO of Fearles Fifties LLC, a motivational community for women who are putting Life back into Midlife.  For more information go to www.fearlessfifties.com and pick up your introduction to The 10 Healthy Habits of Fun, Fearless People.